[Please note there are spoilers for those who have not finished watching the third season of Game of Thrones]
1. A woman scorned is a woman to be feared
The first woman who springs to mind is Ygritte (Rose Leslie). Many scorned women give empty threats, so isn’t it refreshing to witness one actually going through with it? After Jon Snow (Kit Harington) left her without a backwards glance she shot him with an arrow not once, but three times! I’m sure there were a few of us thinking…she won’t…I’m sure she won’t…and then looked on in awe as she showed the man she loved just how much his betrayal had hurt her.
Yet another scorned woman is Shae (Sibel Kekilli). Her capability for retribution is yet untested but she is keeping a more than passing interest on Sansa (Sophie Turner) and Tyrion’s (Peter Dinklage) bed linen. Watch this space…
Finally I must make mention of Daenerys (Emilia Clarke). Athough not scorned in the same way as Ygritte and Shae she is demeaned, insulted and degraded by the Slave Master, Kraznys Mo Nakloz (Dan Hildebrand) and then Mero (Mark Killeen), the Commander of the Second Sons. Each time she came out on top, first, with the help of her dragons and second, with the help of her beauty. Which sets up a smooth jump to my next life lesson..
2. Men will do anything for a beautiful woman
Daenerys is indeed a stunning woman and in season three we witness Daario Naharis (Ed Skrein) killing his two commanders and pledging his allegiance to Daenerys, pretty much because he has the hots for her. So far he seems sincere and if that is what does it for him, well Daenerys is one fortunate woman.
Another man who followed beauty was Robb Stark (Richard Madden). He inconveniently fell in love with the beautiful healer Talisa Maegyr (Oona Chaplin). It was one thing to fall in love, but when he married her he broke his promise to marry one of Walder Frey’s (David Bradley) daughters…and we all know how that ended.
3. Weddings are not always happy occasions
The third season brought us two weddings and neither were particularly joyous affairs.
Watching Sansa marry Tyrion and at the same time continue to be tormented by Joffrey (Jack Gleeson) was one of the saddest and most uncomfortable scenes in the season. The only saving grace was when Tyrion choose not to force himself onto Sansa after the festivities.
While Sansa and Tyrion’s wedding was truly an awkward affair there was no body count. In comparison, the union of Edmure Tully (Tobias Menzies) and Roslin Frey (Alexandra Dowling), was merely background noise for the violent slaughter of Catelyn Stark (Michelle Fairley), Robb and the pregnant Talisa, not to mention the majority of the Stark party. If this is indeed the new trend in Westeros, I await in anticipation to see how Joffrey and Margaery Tyrell’s (Natalie Dormer) wedding will play out.
4. Dragons cannot be bought
No, they really can’t. You can sell your secrets, you can sell your body, you can even sell your loyalties but you cannot sell your dragons. Dracaerys!
5. Never assume that a foreigner doesn’t understand your language
That horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach when you realise that the woman you have been sexually insulting and humiliating for the last few days in your mother tongue has the same mother tongue. Once again – Dracaerys!
6. Beware of presents arriving in wooden boxes
A lesson to always read the card first…
7. Just because things are really bad doesn’t mean they can’t get worse
If being tortured by an unknown assailant seems bad, it is, but don’t imagine that they can’t push it up a few notches. Loss of body parts seems to be a running theme…
8. Don’t ever take on a bear with a wooden stick
This one is pretty unambiguous. Bears – huge, wooden sticks – limited. Try to avoid at all costs.
9. Playing both sides can get you into a spiky situation
Sometimes it is just not worth trying to be everyone’s friend. Ros (Esmé Bianco), you had a sweet heart and I will miss you.
10. Two hands are better than one
Yes, Jaime, sadly they are.
11. It’s never to late to learn how to read
Yeah, good on you, Davos Seaworth (Liam Cunningham), for having the humility to let Shireen (Kerry Ingram), the nine year old daughter of Stannis Baratheon (Stephen Dillane), teach you how to read. The best thing is that you were able to show off your new skill to Stannis. Oh, and that that was in the message helped to save your life.
12. Never trust a religious fanatic
They might talk the talk and even have some seductive moves but before you know it you will be naked, tied up in bed and having leeches attached to various parts of your body. It’s never worth it.
13. It is unwise to marry your lover’s boss
Sounds pretty obvious doesn’t it? Let’s see how it works out for Tyrion shall we…?
14. Keep a track of where your weapons are at all times
In the worst-case scenario they can be used against you and in the best case they are used on someone else. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice…
15. All knives are not created equal
A knife is a knife and then there is a knife made of dragon glass. It slices, it dices, it kills white walkers!
Did season 3 leave its mark on you? What lessons have you gained by watching Game of Thrones?